Weekly Torah Portion

I recently came across a great bumper sticker: “No Excuses. Only Choices”.

We make hundreds of choices every day. Indian or Chinese food for dinner? Aspen or Asheville this winter break?

On a more profound level, we make choices that really matter in our relationships. Do we share a warm smile and kind word with a colleague who appears to need it? Do we snap at the person who just interrupted us? Do we stop what we’re doing to give our child undivided attention?

One phrase that often comes to mind for me in everyday life is from Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages. In describing the typical phases of a relationship, he notes how in the beginning most people are on a high, and the love flows readily and easily. We can’t do enough for each other. Everything is a pleasure. We ride that wave and everything feels effortless.

But despite what people may believe, Chapman explains, that’s not true love. Love comes after the initial wave – when we begin to do things for the other person because we choose to and not necessarily because we feel like doing it. After riding the initial wave of the “love feeling”, we float back down to earth – and that’s when the real work begins. At this point, we need to really make a choice to invest in the relationship.

Chapman explains that Love is not a feeling; “Love is a choice.” Or perhaps more accurately, it comprises thousands of choices we make in our everyday lives: the choice to give toward another person and act in a loving way even when it doesn’t feel easy. When choice is involved, it’s a true investment and the more we put in, the more we will see the returns.

Our relationship with G-d is no different. In this week’s Torah portion, G-d states: “I have placed life and death before you, blessing and curse; and you shall choose life” [Devarim 30:19].

How can we be commanded to “choose life”? Surely we do not hold the keys to how long we get to live. Can we choose not to get sick or not to be involved in a road accident (G-d forbid)?

As we now approach the Days of Awe beginning with Rosh Hashanah next week, many of us will feel an acute awareness of just how little control we hold over the length and quality of our lives. What, then, does G-d want from us when instructing us to choose life?

“Life” here is not referring to physically breathing or functioning but to something much deeper: being connected to our life Source – G-d. It is a call for us to choose a relationship with Him, to actively make Him central in our day-to-day lives, emulating His compassionate ways and observing His holy laws.

Our relationship with G-d is certainly no less important than our relationships with family and friends. And just like with those who matter to us, when it comes to our relationship with G-d, we are in control. We have free will and can choose to invest in the relationship.

Rosh Hashanah celebrates the gift of free will. Called the Day of Judgment, when G-d judges us by carefully weighing the merits of our decisions, demonstrates the power and significance of human choice.

But we must choose to choose. As captured in a famous 1960’s song, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

When we choose to prioritize a relationship with G-d, we can feel the joy and peace of spirit derived from being connected with the Infinite. So this Rosh Hashanah, let’s choose life!