As a young bar mitzvah boy prepared to deliver his d'var Torah, his rabbi, Rabbi David Lehrfield, of blessed memory, gave him an unusual instruction: between each sentence, tap your foot three times. The reason was simple—slow down. Like many young speakers, he was eager to get through his speech, and the pauses would help him focus and allow his words to be heard.
That advice contains a lesson that extends far beyond public speaking.
We live in a world that moves at a relentless pace. Messages arrive instantly, news spreads rapidly, and we often feel compelled to respond just as quickly. When someone criticizes us, challenges us, or says something we don't like, our first instinct is often to react immediately. Yet the speed of our response is not always a measure of its wisdom. Some of our greatest mistakes occur not because we lack good judgment, but because we fail to slow down long enough to use it.
This idea emerges powerfully in this week's Torah portion. Reb Yerucham Levovitz, the spiritual guiding Rabbi of the Mir Yeshiva (1875 – 1936), explains that the Jewish people's mistake began long before the spies returned. Their request to send spies to the promised land of Israel, stemmed from a state of uncertainty and agitation rather than calm trust. When the spies came back with a troubling report, the people responded in the same way—with fear and confusion. Instead of pausing to reflect and evaluate what they had heard, they reacted immediately. Their tragedy was not only that they made the wrong decision, but that they never gave themselves the opportunity to think clearly before making it. The consequences were enormous. That generation lost the privilege of entering the Land of Israel and was condemned to wander in the desert for forty years. In many ways, the repercussions of that moment are still felt today.
The lesson is as relevant now as it was then. When we receive difficult news or face a challenge, our first reaction is not always our best one. Slowing down creates space for perspective, wisdom, and better decisions.
Many years later, I still think about that rabbi's advice. You see, the bar mitzvah boy in the story was actually me, and this week’s Torah portion was the portion I read for my bar mitzvah. While I no longer tap my foot three times between sentences, the lesson has remained with me ever since: sometimes the most important thing we can do is pause before we respond.