Weekly Torah Portion

I hit my toddler. It was hard and it hurt. Me, that is. It was hard for me and it hurt me. The truth is that it wasn’t hard for him – it wasn’t much more than a light tap. It didn’t hurt him at all, but he knew that it meant what he did was really, really serious.

When we moved to Orlando I was adamant that I wanted a house without a pool. I was moving with a few very active young boys…and I just wanted to play it safe. But G-d wanted it otherwise…and we ended up living in a home with a nice big pool.

I said, “Ok, but we’re going to get the best, strongest pool fence possible.” I asked about metal, solid aluminum fencing and was told that that will just be easier for kids to climb. So we ended up with the regular run of the mill fencing that most young families get and settled for strict rules about who’s allowed to unlock and of course never swimming unsupervised…and all seemed well. Until my two year old decided to climb the mesh fence.

Thank G-d I was right there, and once he came down, on the right side, I looked at him and, thinking about how much I love and care about him, and how much I want to keep him safe, gave him a hug and a small tap on his hand. That “potch” given out of love was the biggest gift I felt I could give him at that moment.

We are taught that this is how Hashem cares for us. Any “potch,” any punishment given is always out of love, never out of anger or vengeance.

In this week’s Torah portion, Yaakov censors his sons Shimeon and Levi for their role in killing the male residents of  the city of Shechem after the city’s prince kidnapped and assaulted their sister. Rashi points out that Yaakov doesn’t focus on their act, but rather their anger, the origin of that act.

When we act out of rage, that is not G-dly. And that is the largest concern of all. What should have happened to the city residents is not the focus of Yaakov’s rebuke. His largest concern is the fact that his sons allowed themselves to become so consumed by rage that it dictated their actions.

Recognizing that we as G-d’s people are charged with being as similar to Him as possible, pushes us to check ourselves against this standard in all our relationships: if I am acting out of anger, I need to take a step back and wait until I’m calm to determine my next steps. This is Yaakov’s lesson to his sons and to us, his great great grandchildren.

Here’s wishing us all success in making the right choices in all our relationships.

-Message based on commentary recorded in book Peninim on the Torah