Weekly Torah Portion

I was super excited the day my mother took the plunge and bought my father a brand new expensive leather armchair. It wasn’t cheap, it wasn’t used. That in and of itself was a big deal. But that gift to my father ended up being one of the greatest gifts my parents ever gave me.

My parents bothwork  in the field of Jewish education and they were very happy of the pact they had made when they married that they would not purchase any new furniture until they had bought a beautiful bookcase to hold their Jewish library. It was a statement of the values they wanted to live by, and they stood by it.

It took about 13 years for them to save up to commission a carpenter to build the beautiful custom bookshelves they had been waiting for. Their priorities stood strong; until that point any other significant furniture was bought second-hand. So a new armchair (purchased after the bookcases, of course) was a big deal.

It was about as big and plush as you could find, and we were all so excited for the moment my father would come home and see it waiting for him in the living room. It was wrapped in plastic and no one dared sit in it until my father got the first chance.

I remember the anticipation of the moment he would see and enjoy it, because obviously once he sat in it, I would get a turn to climb up and feel it for myself. Once my father saw the chair (I honestly don’t remember his reaction, but I know he loves that chair!) and tried it out I realized that things weren’t that simple.

There is a mitzvah, a commandment in this week’s Torah portion, to revere one’s father and mother. One of the most famous applications of this commandment is to refrain from sitting in the designated chair of a parent without explicit permission.

In my excitement, I had forgotten this. When my father got up and I drew closer to the chair I started to realize that this was not just another piece of furniture. This was “for Abba.” I did not sit in the chair that day. It is difficult to express in words the feeling and pride that comes with this boundary. It did not take long to feel it. Not only did he gift me life, but my father is one generation closer to our rich past, and it feels so good to have a tangible way to honor that.

Through the lens of evolutionary theory, the older an individual the further they are from intelligence, logic and progress. Through the lens of Judaism, the older a person is, the closer they are to our nation’s revelation at Sinai, the closer they are to the teachings of Moses and the greatest teachers of our nation.

Every time I visit my parents’ home I pass by my father’s chair. I don’t dare sit in it. And by doing so, I respect G-d’s commandment and honor my father as transmitting the values of our heritage to me from his vantage point – that of one closer to our past.