This week, our family lost someone we quietly assumed would always be there.
My grandfather, Shimshon Pattashnick z”l, felt eternal. Not because life was easy for him, but because he carried a kind of inner strength that endured. He was a strong person in the deepest sense of the word.
That strength was visible even near the end of his life. During a hospital visit last year, Zeidy was sharing a room with a retired physician. Zeidy had pneumonia along with many other medical challenges. The doctor told me he would listen as nurses and doctors reviewed Zeidy’s long medical history and explain the complexity of his condition. He said it was astonishing to watch one person endure so much and still remain present, alert, and determined.
At an age when many retreat, Zeidy was still fighting to live. Living mattered to him.
But his real strength was not only physical.
It was spiritual.
Zeidy grew up in a home shaped by sacrifice and commitment. His parents came from Russia, where Jewish life required courage just to survive. His father earned a living as a ritual slaughterer, a difficult and often thankless role. Yet it was meaningful work, and that mattered more than comfort.
Sending Zeidy to a serious yeshiva was not an obvious choice in those days. He learned there, received rabbinic ordination, and absorbed a vision of Torah that was demanding and lifelong.
That vision shaped every major decision he made. He served as a rabbi, led schools, and moved his family more than once when he felt their Jewish environment needed to be stronger. These choices were not easy. They were honest.
Zeidy did not live a comfortable life. Comfort was never the goal. His priority was giving of himself, to his family and to the Jewish people.
One idea that kept coming back to me while reflecting on his life comes from the medieval thinker Ralbag. He explains that the Torah is not meant to break a person, but to shape a person. Its values and practices are designed to work with human nature, refining character and helping people live balanced, meaningful lives.
Torah, in this view, does not fight who we are. It elevates who we are.
Zeidy lived that Torah.
His learning did not make him rigid or detached. It made him grounded, thoughtful, disciplined, and deeply human. He was careful with Jewish practice, and at the same time warm, sharp, and present. His values showed not only in what he believed, but in how he lived and how he endured.
Zeidy once explained why Moses insisted that both young and old leave Egypt together. A future without elders is not a future at all. The older generation carries experience and perspective, and helps guide the next generation forward.
For many years, Zeidy was that presence for us. We were fortunate to have him at our holidays and celebrations, offering quiet guidance and wisdom. His presence elevated a room not because he demanded attention, but because he carried depth.
Zeidy's constant message to us was about showing that Torah produces people who are resilient, grounded, and fully alive. People whose values hold under pressure.
We miss him greatly. And we carry forward what he showed us. That Torah, when lived sincerely, builds a strong and meaningful life.
May his memory continue to guide us.